Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
