I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She bit a glass in half.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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