I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
