He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
