I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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