i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
