Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
