I didn't shave. On purpose
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
