I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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