i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
