This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
