You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
