she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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