Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
