i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
