ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I want a musical about memes.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
