i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
