So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
