Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize