I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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