You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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