i just google imaged poop.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
