May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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