I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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