I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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