Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
