and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
How external is "for external use only"?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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