i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
