he shaved USA in his pubs
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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