i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
