it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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