If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
