Michael Bay diarrhea
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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