i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
