I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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