Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
