Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
