maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
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