One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
