Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
