she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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