I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
two words...techno handjob
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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