I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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