My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
