I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
