It was confusing and full of hummus
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
