it was like his penis was on wheels.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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