i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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