I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
