How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
