so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize