I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
