Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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