are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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