he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it hurts more in the daytime
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
