He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
