Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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