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He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
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