boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
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Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now