in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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