I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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