New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
